"you can do it, kiddo"

Today is Charlotte's memorial. The clarinet quartet, now dubbed "The Charlonets" after last night, is ready to go.

I woke up this morning not feeling very ready to go at all. Being a grown-up and one of the supports (hopefully ), in this really hard time, was feeling overwhelming. Plus hosting Ian and Jo, talking to Lisa about the photos, trying to help David if I can (who is the "onsite coordinator" for the service? I don't know).

And hoping everything will go well and David and the kids will have this as a relatively good memory that represents Charlotte, or at least tries to. (Note that I think the only thing I remember from Mom's funeral was Pastor Darrell's closing about the end of The Last Battle, and being so impressed that he actually read it).

In the midst of all this overwhelm I hear a voice in my head saying "you can do it, kiddo". Which I think must be from Mom since really I don't know Charlotte well enough for it to be Charlotte.

Or maybe it was both of them in a chorus. Anyway, I guess the real answer is that it is the part of me that holds my mom inside and tries to preserve her.